three charmed ones chapter 1 finding out has powers

I wrote a new story my story is base off my favorite show charmed I hope you girls like my story

Carmen and Jill are sisters that live together happily, but not only that, they are best friends.
Jill could you help me cut the onions?"asks Carmen, walking over to the counter and picking up the knife getting ready to cut up an onion.
"Yes, I would love to.",replies Jill as she walked over next to Carmen where there was a knife laying on a cutting board next to an un-chopped onion. He picked the knife up and started cutting the onion into little pieces.

"Thank you, how was work?", Carmen wonders.
"Exhausting,had to do paperwork all day. These two guys at work found out they were dating the same girl so they starting getting into a fight which ended in a fist fight.", Jill exclaimed as he kept cutting the onion and then putting them in a bowl.
"Ouch,they should have at least waited to fight until after work when no ones around.", Carmen said.

"Mom could I go to Stacey Sleep over party?", asked Natalie hoping for a yes but she knows it is gonna be a no.
What time is the sleepover?"asked Carmen
"8:00 clock.", replied Natalie.
"No that's too late.", responded Carmen denying Natalie's request to go to the sleepover.
"But mom why, why cant I go to parties on school days. I can only only go to parties on the weekend.", Natalie complained.
"Because its dangerous at night you could get hurt ",said Carmen
"You don't want the scary monster to hurt you." ,teases Joseph laughing historically.
Ha ha ha,why doesn't anyone believe me I saw a monster.",implied Natalie thinking back to that one time.

"Today, I went shopping, then I read a romantic book after I watched a movie.", implied Carmen
"Cool,you lucky you had a day off from work. I'm hoping I get a raise.",
"I hope you do,you should be able to get it you deserve it you been working there for 12 years.",echo Carmen
"Aw thank you,because of you giving me courage im going to ask my boss right now.",oozed Jill
Carmen,Jill,Natalie,and Joseph finish eating dinner
Joseph goes plays video games
Carmen she does the dishes
Natalie her best friend named Stacey Calls her
"Hey.",bawled Natalie
Are you on your way i have good news Peter brb
Jill could you help me cut the unions?"asks Carmen
"Yes,I would love to.",replies Jill
Carmen and Jill our sisters and they live together
"Thank you,how was work.",wonders Carmen
"Exhausting,had to do paperwork all day.two people at work hit each other they found they both where dating the same girl.",wailed Jill
"Ouch,they should have atleast waited to fight until after work when no ones around.",
"Mom could I go to Stacey Sleep over party.",rasped Natalie
What time is the sleepover?"asked Carmen
"8:00 clock."says Natalie
"No that's late.",answers Carmen
"But mom why,why cant I go to partys on school days.I can only only go to partys on the weekend.",parry Natalie
"Because its dangours at night you could get hurt ",said Carmen
"You don't want the scary monster to hurt you.",teases Joseph
Hahahaha,why doesn't anyone believe me I saw a monster.",implied Natalie
"Today I went shopping then I read a romantic book after I watched a movie.",amplied Carmen
"Cool,you lucky you had a day off from work.I'm hoping I get a raise.",
"I hope you do,you should be able to get it you deserve it you been working there for 12 years.",echo Carmen
"Aw thank you,because of you giving me courage im going to ask my boss right now.",oozed Jill
Carmen,Jill,Natalie,and Joseph finish eating dinner
Joseph goes plays video games
Carmen she does the dishes
Natalie her best friend named Stacey Calls her
"Hey.",bawled Natalie
Are you on your way i have good news Peter broke up with Cindy he got tired of her rude attitude.",retort Stacey
"No way.",zingled Natalie
"Yeah way,hurry up and come over.",sass Stacey
"I can't my mom won let me because your sleepover late.",squelch Natalie
"I know sneak out.",suggest Stacey
Natalie she been having a crush on peter for long time she never told him because he use to have a girlfriend
"Okay,see you soon.",bellowed Natalie
"Yay,bye.",cajoled Stacey
Natalie she makes sure no ones paying attention to her she goes to her room to sneak out her brother stops video game for a couple minutes and he sees his sister sneaking out
"So decided to sneak out she is so grounded.",pestered Joseph<he continues to play his video games

When Natalie is walking to her friend house she sees the same monster she saw yesterday she decides to follow it
When Natalie follows the monster he goes into the cave
"This is intersting place a cave this is a good place to hide out no one would think of someone one hiding here.",Amanda thinks in her head
Amanda sees the monster kill someone
"Oh no poor person.",Natalie accidently says out loud the monster hears her and sees her chases after her she runs away from it the monster was this close to kill Natalie by putting her head on fire she suddenly dissapars
Joseph he puts his games away Natalie she reappears in her brother room
"Get out,wait how did you that.",wonders Joseph
"Powers I cant believe I have powers.",sass Natalie
"Cool,gibed Joseph
"You believe me.",exulted Natalie
"Yes,it make sense how that happend.",fretted Joseph
"I dont know if I want powers,what if people told people I have powers people get scared of me.",divalged Natalie
"They wouldnt be,you would use your powers for good.its gonna be great having powers you get to do whatever you want.remind me to never make you made again because now you can turn me into frog.",parry Joseph
"Lol,if l could I could only have one power.",lamented Natalie
"Train that might help you bring out more of your powers to come out.",jeested Joseph
"I do that,thank you you made me feel better.",added Natalie
"Yourweclome,now get out.".mimicked Joseph
"Okay.",smiles Natalie

That night Natalie she couldnt sleep she kept tossing and turning and kept thinking about that monster killing the person
I wonder if I have powers as Joseph thinks in his head to find out he has powers he tryes to blast his shoes into pieces
"Blast.",asserted Joseph<his shoes brust into pieces
"Yay I have powers,I cant wait to tell my friends.",badgered Joseph after Joseph finds out he has powers he goes to bed
"Good morning my family.",intornated Natalie
"Good morning,your mom had to leave early to go shopping she wanted go shopping before work.she left money me money for you guys for lunch.",murmured Jill
"Ah,she loves to shop.",smiles Natalie
"Shopping is so much fun,to bad everyone couldn't shop everyday if we did everyone would go broke.",riposted Jill
"Yeah,if no one would go broke.I would love to go to a huge mall and a mall that has alot of mirrors.",
"Me too.",assented Jill
"Im off to school bye Jill.",Natalie told Jill
"Bye.",blustered Jill

Why didnt you come to my sleepover?"asks Stacey
"Im sorry I didnt,something came up if I tell you why I didnt come you probably woulnt believe me.",falted Natalie
"Try me.",simpered Stacey
"I saw a monster,yesturday I find out I have powers.",wooed Natalie
"Wow my friend has powers sweet,when you followed the monster what did the monster do?"asked Stacey
"The monster killed someone.",sighs Natalie
"I'm sorry you went through that horrible experience,I hope that monster is dead by now.",burble Stacey
"I doubt it,I don't think no one else knows about the monster but only use two.im going to kill that monster make sure the monster never kills anyone ever again.",coaxed Natalie
"I want to come with you,I want too see you kick but.",wailed Stacey
"No you cant come,theres no way I couldnt protect both of us I only have one power for now.",queired Natalie
"I understand,good luck.kick that monster but!.",prattled Stacey
"Thx,I can't wait to defeat that monster!.",feedback Natalie
"Class,today we going to talk about the queen of england.",says the teacher named Eric

"Could you tell our mom a lie tell her im at Stacey house,I'm going kill the monster.thank you.",oozed Natalie
"No I won't,matter of fact that dangorous what you doing.",top Joseph
"Fine then I get in trouble.",walks away Natalie
Natalie brother grabs her arm to stop her from getting hurt
"Let go of me.",answers back Natalie
"No I won't.",feedback Joseph
"Since when do you care about the things I do.",argue Natalie
"Since now,im sorry i haven't been there for you in the past thats changed I am now.you only have one power transporting you need another power to kill the monster how you going to kill the monster you could get hurt.another thing when you get hurt you cant use your power to transport out.I don't want you to get hurt.so no you not going.",parry Joseph
"Okay I won't go.",justification.
"Good,lets go home now.",rasped Joseph
At home Natalie doing her homework she couldn't do it anymore
Sorry brother I have to do this I don't want any one else killed Natalie says to herself
Natalie makes sure her brother door closed it is
"So she is going anyways,I have to tell mom.",assert Joseph
"Mom I have to tell you something.",billet Joseph
Whats the matter?"asked Carmen
"Natalie went to go kill the monster she saw,she found out she has powers. She only has one power transporting she needs another power to kill the monster she gonna get hurt.",mime Joseph
"What she is in trouble,lets go rescue.",revalusion.",Carmen
Jill,Carmen,Joseph hurry up to rescue her
The monster was gonna kill someone else
'Not so fast leave him alone.",surrebutter Natalie
The monster leaves him alone and goes hurry up to kill her she transport to the end of the tunnel
Then the monster tryes to put Natalie body all on fire
"Transport.",counter Natalie
Next the monster tryes to put Natalie face on fire
"Transport.",get back to
The next thing the monster tryes to do is put Natalie finger on fire so she couldnt use her power to transport
Before Natalie try to escape she didn't realize her shoe was untie she accidently falls down
The monster hurrys up to kill her
Natalie worried she going to die
"No leave my daughter alone.",respond Carmen<she freezes the monster into ice and it brakes
"Mom you have powers.",said Joseph
"I didn't know i had power.",Carmen told Joseph
"Our mom has explaning to do.",back talk Jill
Natalie is relieved the monster gone
Carmen putting rubbing alcohol on Natalie scratches
"Ouch,that hurts.",field the question Natalie
"Thats what you get for going,you shouldn't have went.what where you thinking.you an idot you could have died.next time a monster shows up dont go after killing it.",yells Carmen
"I won't."says Natalie <she was about to walk to her room
"Bye the way you grounded for two weeks.",come back Carmen
"Oh man!.",antiphon Natalie...to be continued

Wow, long story. Hehe. But I honestly didn't read the whole thing yet. I read some of it and I will finish it in a minute. Also, it is really good so far. You do have some spelling errors and you could be a bit descriptive in some parts and explain a bit more with your stories. For example, you could explain what they are doing in that scene, or while this specific person is saying this specific form of dialogue. For example, you could say, for the first line. `"Jill, could you help me cut the onions?", asks carmen walking over to the counter and picking up a knife.`
I will go ahead and fix some of the errors for you. Happy New Year!

Really good overall though!

Okay I'm glad you like it happy new years I'm trying to get better at the characters talking more

They don't need to talk all the time. Just,some times. A story is better when it is descriptive and understandable. Look at some of the other stories here written by me, minako, and or steph and it should give you an idea. I'll be startibg,another story soon. Maybe tomorrow.

Oh okay I do that tommorw look at the stories

Alright. Happy new year.