misson to camp luke movie story

i decided to add my movie story to the winx related fixed the grammar that was wrong




The Winx Girls are at the carnival with their boyfriends and they are all riding the water slide.


The next thing the girls and their boyfriends do is ride the drop down tower


Afterwards the next thing the girls and their boyfriends do is the sky swat ride


when the girls and their boyfriends done riding the sky swat ride the next they do is ride the sky drive ride


after they finish the sky drive ride the next thing they do is matterhorn ride


the next thing the girls and their boyfriend do is the music twister roll coaster


When the girls and their boyfriends are done riding the roll coaster the next thing they do is ride the teacups ride


afterwards the girls and their boyfriends done riding the tea cup ride the next thing they do is the bumper rides

Aisha bumps into Nabu


Riven bumps into Timmy


Sky bumps into Brandon


Helia bumps into Flora


Bloom bumps into Stella


Musa bumps into Aisha


Timmy bumps into riven


Stella bumps into Sky


Nabu bumps into Bloom


Aisha bumps into Flora


Flora bumps into Riven


Once the girls and their boyfriends are done with the bumper cars they go to the LolaCafe


Musa buys everyone snow cones


"Thank you for the snow cone.",implied Stella


"Yourweclome,answered back.",Musa


"Yum.",exclaimed Nabu


Musa smiles


"That was so much fun.",boasted Flora


"Heck yeah that was,some day when I have children I'm gonna tell my kids about this day.this day is special to me and I'm never going to forget this day.",agreed Musa


"Me too,I'm also gonna tell my children too about this day some day.",replies back Flora


"Same for me too,and plus i'm gonna give my children pictures of our day.",indicate Aisha


"when I have children i'm going to have my own technology fun land gallery will put pictures on the wall and show my kids them.",Timmy retort


"Musa did you finally found that necklace you wanted since your where a kid?"Asked Riven


"No.",Come back Musa


Musa sighed_.


"I'm sorry you still haven't found it yet,don't give up finding it you will find it.together we will find it.",Riven acknowledges her not to give up


"We will help you find it too.",says Tecna,Stella,Bloom,Flora,Aisha


"Don't forget about us,we going to help you too find it.dictated Brandon,Timmy,Sky,Helia,and Nabu


Musa smiles


"Aw you guys.",parry Musa

Before Musa mom died Musa mom brought Musa a music necklace and hid it somewhere.Musa mom brought it for her for Musa 16 birthday.Her mom died the day before her birthday.She died from saving her best friend from the three legend Trix sisters.The Trix sisters wanted to break three dragon free.Only Musa mom best friend has the power to break the dragon free. Musa mom didn't tell her husband where she hid it at


"I remember you told us before your mom died she left you a letter and you told us in the letter she left a hint where its at.", rebute Stella


"Yes, I have the letter with me. I always bring with me.",Musa tells Stella


"Hand me the letter.",request Stella


Musa gets her letter out of her backpack and she hands Stella the letter


Stella reads the letter


"For the hint,your mom hid the present at Camp Luke,that's all I can figure out."amplified Stella


"Your a genius Stella,that make sense she would hid it there we went alot there on family vacation.I forgot about that place.we didn't go to that place for long time.I guess that was her favorite special family vacation place.I cant believe I didn't figure it out that it was her special family vacation place.",Musa claims

"How could  you known that was here favorite special place,not that many have a special camp place.", add in Riven


"Your right.",Agreed Musa


Riven made Musa feel better

do size you have any pictures from when you and your family went on vacation to Camp Luke?" the pictures could give us a clue where your mom hid your necklace at Asks Riven


"Yes,but I didn't bring none with me.",settle Musa


"Alright,tomorrow bring them with you. alright friends are mission tomorrow is to find Musa necklace.tomorrow we are going to go to camp Luke", Riven announces


Alright we are going to find to finally find that necklace.", cheered everyone


Your guys are the best.", Musa mentions


Musa I have a superize for you,come with me to the waterfall.",bawled Riven


"Alright,we will be back guys.",wailed Musa


"Okay.", answers everyone


"Riven and Musa walk to the water fall

"I cant wait until we find Musa necklace,cant wait to see that big smile face on her face when we find the necklace.",stated Tecna

"I cant either." implied Aisha

"I felt bad cause you still couldn't find your necklace,so I brought you something.",Riven chime in 

Riven hands Musa the gift


Musa opens the gift


when Musa open the gift the gift is a music box


"Omg,thank you so much its amazing.",replied back Musa


"Yourweclome.",hollered Riven


"Musa kisses Riven


Riven kisses Musa back


Musa plays the music box


Riven and Musa listen to the music


so Flora after we done helping Musa finding her necklace want to go bowling?"Asked Helia


"Sure.",grated Flora


"Great.",reply Helia


The girls and the Specialist leave the carnival


Flora knocks on Musa door.


"Come in.",flung Musa


"You told us riven got something for you.",get back at Flora


"Yes.",joshed Musa


Musa shows Flora the gift


"Oh my gosh,its so cool.that was very nice of him.",plead Flora


"Yes it was was.",agreed Musa


Flora hands Musa her music box back


"I'm going to sleep goodnight.",settle Flora


"Goodnight.",answers Musa


"Flora leaves Musa room


Musa plays the music box again


Musa lays down and thinks about her awesome day she also falls asleep and she smiles in her sleep


Everyone meets at the benches


"Good morning Musa.",queried Riven


"Good morning,good morning all my friends.", Musa tells all her friends


"Good morning to you too.", raved  Everyone


Everyone leaves the benches and walk up to the Specialist car and goes inside of it


Riven drives the car and drives off


everyone arrives at Camp Luke


"Follow me guys,we going to the ocean.",affirmed Musa


"Okay,",says back Stella


Everyone follows Musa


Everyone arrives at the ocean.


Everyone sets down


Musa did you bring the pictures?"Asks Riven


"Yes.",says Musa


"Hand me the photos.",replies Riven


Musa hands Riven the photo


Riven looks at the photos


"I cant figure it out.",Riven told Musa


"thx for trying,alright we should spelt up meet at here in the room in two hour.",Musa says


"Alright.", everyone opined


Everyone spelts up


Everyone looks for the necklace


Everyone still looks for the necklace


Everyone still continues to look for the necklace


Everyone takes a break from finding the necklace


Everyone is in Musa family room that they where in before


"I just thought about something,could the room be special to your mom too?".",wonders Sky


"Could be.", Musa wonders too


Musa looks at the photos again


in the photos there is a photo of Musa mom favorite picture.


When Musa and her family went camping in the room was a picture of a painting on the wall


the painting still there


Musa puts the photo album down and shes takes the painting down


the necklace wasn't on the wall


*Musa sighs


"Im sorry you couldn't find it.",yodeled Flora


Stella sees something shinning on the painting


"Wait a minute Musa,I saw something shinning on the painting look at the back of the painting.",suggests Stella


Musa looks at the back


Musa sees the necklace.the necklace is taped on the back of the painting and there's is a note too taped


Musa takes the tape off the necklace and note too


["Omg,its very cool.thank you mom its wonderful."says Musa thinks


Musa reads the note


The note says dear Musa I'm sorry I died before your birthday I had to save my friend I hope you


like your necklace I know you will never give up on your singing career no matter what conditions get in your way I love you daughter


Musa smiles


"Alright,do you guys want to hang out here for awhile?".",asked Musa


"Sure.",replied back everyone


Everyone talks


"I'm glad you finally found your necklace.",zinged Riven


"Me too,thx to you guys.I don't have to be sad anymore about not finding it.,"back at you Musa


''Yeah.'',said Riven


Tecna tells everyone a joke and everyone laughs at the joke

Cool, I feel like there are ways to improve further :p

how?

Well, one thing I noticed is at the beginning you could say 'The Winx Girls are at the Carnival' instead of putting all of their names. It sounds smoother imo.

oh okay i will edit that part i got to remember that instead of always adding the names

Yup. But only use pronouns where you think it will sound smoother- well that's what I do anyway :p

alright im not use not doing grammar and fixing grammar im use to just writing my storys for fun with out doing grammar but of course i still have fun writing

I see that you have improved and I like the way that you spreaded it all out like the diagram and sentences. It don't always needs to be spreaded but sometimes It helps. Just try to connect sentences together that are very short. Like this:
The Winx girls are at the carnival.The girls and their boyfriends are riding the the water slide
Instead of that, you could do this. The Winx girls are at the carnival with their boyfriends and they are all riding the water slide.

This is called connected Independent and Dependent clauses together. When you have short sentences like that, they can be connected to make it more interesting that way when the reader is reading it, they don't sound like a robot. Hope this helps a little. If you need more help just PM me .

oh okay totally thats helps out alot thank you and alright

Your welcome!

Fantastic job .

Aye, Crystal is right.

I am pretty good at writing. I possibly got the highest score in the whole year at the English exam

don't ask how pls